Strike Two (Reality Version)

I'm sitting on the couch when I hear the woman scream, immediately I know she has spotted a snake, or at the very least a stick that looks like a snake. So I pick up my snake battling tools (my shoes and a shovel) and I head out the door. I quickly spot the snake -- a skinny, 18 to 24 inch black snake -- as it suns itself near the bottom of our deck stairs. As I close the distance between us, the little slitherer made a break for it. He quickly wriggled under our deck and out the other side. I moved around the deck and cornered it, I went for the kill but the sly little bastard maneuvered out of the way and snuck under a large bush causing George and me to search under the useless shrubbery for a few minutes before realizing the culprit had made a safe getaway. But fear not, snakes, like most crooks, will return to the scene of the crime, and I'll decapitate him then. After being out maneuvered I returned to inside the house, or attempted to anyway, I found all the doors, windows and drain pipes locked and barred, Anne huddling under the kitchen table with Papa. Annabelle let me in.