Seriously?

I am not really sure why it is, but wildlife of all types seems to be drawn to my house. Since I am not such a fan of wildlife in general, and certain creatures (which shall remain nameless) in particular, I need to find something to keep these unwanted visitors away. Any suggestions?

Bambi and company keep finding their way to my yard, eating the hosta and whatever else they feel like nibbling on. Doesn't bother me all that much, but they drive George insane. I thought he was going to jump right through the window when I took this picture.

And then there are the frogs that like to congregate on the back door and windows. This one was a bit camera shy, but daily there are at least two that hang out on the doors out to the deck and you never know if they are going to jump on you as you walk out the door. (You may wonder why on earth I would be going out there in the first place, but so far George has been unwilling to  learn to use the toilet. We are working on it. )
The newest addition is this "little" beauty that has made a nice web on the back screen door. I say little, but it really is the biggest spider I have ever seen. Now, I loved Charlotte's Web as much as the next guy, but unless I come down in the morning and "domestic goddess" is written in the web, the spider as got to go. 

I just don't understand why? Why me? Why my house? The green mystery moth was enough. The giant snake in the garage was WAY more then enough. 

Seriously? My house? Didn't these creatures get the memo? I DON'T LIKE YOU. Go away.